Plot: Albanese attempts to become Australian dictator after China-US war but it does not go to plan!

Characters at time of War:

Prime Minister Albanese; Defence Minister Marles; Foreign Affairs Minister Wong; Treasurer Chalmers; Attorney-General Dreyfus; PM’s Chief-of-Staff Gartrell; Secretary of Department of PM&C Davis; Secretary of Treasury Kennedy; Minister of Defence Industry and Capability Delivery Conroy; Luke Gosling; Tanya Plibersek; Mike Burgess of ASIO. Journalists Greg Sheridan, David Speers, Cameron Stewart and Nick McKenzie. Premiers: NSW Minns, Vic Allan, Qld Miles, WA Cook, Tas Rockliff, SA Malinauskas.

Scene 1: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese: “Fuck! What are we going to do?”

Marles: “We have to agree. The US subs and marines in Australia are the only thing stopping a Chinese invasion.”

Wong: “My department thinks the Chinese now have enough problems at home and dealing with the fall-out from the fighting.”

Marles: “Only for the next year or two!”

Albanese: “Cutting all our exports to China will create a mess here. Think of the job losses!”

Marles: “We need to quickly spend more on defence. Introduce mass conscription. That will take care of job losses!”

Gartrell: “You need to create a national cabinet. Call all the premiers now, show you are in charge. Address the country. Tell it that the world in now different and that Australia must adjust. You can now be a war-time leader!”

Albanese: “Yes. A John Curtin leader. Let’s do it1”

Scene 2: Office of the Foreign Minister

Chalmers walks in and says: “Albanese has just told me. Cut all exports to China! Increase spending on tanks, ships, soldiers. It will wreck the budget. Is the situation really this bad. The Chinese are not going to invade us. Are they?”

Wong: “It hardly matters. Everyone is panicking. Marles is egging him on and teachers pet Dreyfus is helping the Albanese to start imagining himself as some sort of historical figure.”

Chalmers: “My god! We only elected him party leader because the electorate had turned on Shorten. We had little choice. You should have put up your hand.”

Wong: “He saved me when …”

Chalmers: “Let’s not go there again!”

Wong: “I owed him for that. But he is very sneaky and we are now stuck with him.”

Scene 3: Cabinet Room

The state premiers are all on-line as the PM prepares to address the nation.

Albanese: “My fellow citizens. I am speaking to you as head of the new national cabinet which has just concluded a long and difficult meeting. The state premiers and I are united in our view about what measures need to be taken for the future safety and prosperity of Australia. As you already know the conflict over Taiwan has thankfully calmed down and we hope that this uneasy situation does not flare-up again. Nevertheless, as a nation we are now presented with some stark and uncomfortable choices. The US, our alliance partner of many years and conflicts, needs Australia’s support to ensure that the recent events result in a long-term peaceful situation. This can only occur if Australia stands fast with the US against the aggression of China. This hopefully does not mean more fighting but it does mean that Australia needs to sever almost all of its relationships with China. All economic relations, including exports and imports, must cease. This also includes social media apps such as WeChat. The national cabinet understands the disruption to business and personal lives that this will bring. To minimise this, the national cabinet will work through the night so that in the morning we can announce more details of the way forward in these very difficult circumstances. Goodnight.”

Minns: “I hope we know what we are doing. This is all so extreme.”

Cook: “Yes. WA is going to be hit very hard.”

Allan: “Of course we do. The Chinese need to know where we stand, and that is with the US.”

Minns: “And what was the role of the US in causing this mess?”

Malinaukas: “We are a national cabinet, so stop arguing!”

Scene 4: Public Service Office

Davis: “I definitely need a drink. The PM’s speech sounded good. National cabinet, standing with the US etc. But what sounds good may not be good in reality.”

Kennedy: “Don’t be so glum. I knew the Albanese when he was a lobbyist. He has a good political nose, good a PR – but nuance and understanding of complex issues is not his thing. Reality will eventually hit him and his national cabinet!”

Davis: “I’m not so sure. Once something is publicly announced, it is hard to change course. His chief of staff and Marles will be encouraging him to go on. Wong probably knows better, but the PM seems to have some hold over her. As for Chalmers – he is so piss-weak!”

Kennedy: “I must admit that the Vic and SA premiers sound a bit too gung-ho. Allan is an ideologue and Malinauskas just wants more spending in his state for building AUKUS subs – so fuck the rest of Australia!”

Davis: “We better get back to the meeting. Try to minimize the damage caused by this national cabinet.”

Scene 5: Parliamentary Press Gallery Office

 Greg Sheridan: “Here it is. The national cabinet press-release basically says that every-thing China is off-limits to Australians with no exceptions.”

David Speers: What are other countries doing?

Greg Sheridan: “Not much. Don’t they understand the threat? At least we are taking the lead.”

David Speers: “The EU? Japan? Why do we need to take a lead?”

Greg Sheridan: “Because we are standing up for values. And only the US can ensure international order!”

Scene 6: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese: “The general media reaction has been supportive.”

Marles: “And the Opposition is all at sea. Say they want to support the US but also lots of stuff about the effect on the economy.”

Albanese: “Should I call the US president?”

Gartrell: “He should call you! You are taking the lead on this. He should be grateful.”

Wong: “I think he has bigger problems right now. The US is in shock over this. Some are calling for a nuclear strike on China.”

Albanese: “Should I say something about this? Be bit more of a leader?”

Wong shakes her head.

Albanese: “What now? What do we do next?”

Chalmers: “We try to fix this mess. I think the WA premier is very wobbly on the national cabinet, which is not surprising giving the uproar it is causing with the hit on exports. Their next session of parliament is going to be very rough.”

Marles: “Fuckin parliaments! We should abolish them.”

Chalmers: “Davis waiting in the Cabinet room to give us a briefing on next steps. Kennedy is with him.”

They all leave the room. Sometime later Albanese and Marles return.

Albanese: “Are you serious? Abolish the parliaments, and we appoint the premiers?”

Marles: “Put it up as another temporary measure. Nearly all the premiers would love it.”

Albanese: “Yeh! Especially if we choose them!”

Albanese calls in his chief-of-staff and asks: “Have we heard anything from the US?”

Gartrell shakes his head, and then says: “The WA parliament is in up-roar! There is talk of secession.”

Albanese turns to Marles: “Maybe your idea is good! We need to keep WA in line so that we can offers bases for US subs.”

Scene 7: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese: “We need a more compliant G-G. How can we get rid of Mostyn. We could then appoint Admiral Johnston to the position – his status-conscious wife would love it – and we could then get a competent Chief-of-Defence Force. So, if we can get rid of present G-G we then kill two birds with one stone. What leverage do we have on Mostyn?”

Marles: “None that I know of.”

Albanese: “Pity!”

Marles: “How much do you trust Gartrell?”

Albanese: “What do you mean?”

Marles: “Only that I would prefer that we keep some of our conversations private – to ourselves!”

Albanese: “OK. You think that you can solve some of our problems?”

Marles: “I don’t know. But give me a little time.”

Albanese: “You always were a very useful chief-of-staff!”

Scene 8: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese: “How can we get more of a handle on media commentary? Too much is extremely negative.”

Gartrell: “Maybe the commentary is right? I am beginning to worry that we are over-reacting and caving into US demands too easily. The US is nearly as much to blame as China for what happened. Do we need to shoot our-selves in the foot over all this?”

Albanese: “I understand what you are saying, but you are the only person in this building that I can trust with everything. I have no secrets from you. Think of your future career prospects. I will make sure you get a safe seat. Just like I did when Marles was my chief-of-staff. But, I need you to stay in tune with me.”

Scene 9: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese: “You’re kidding?”

Dreyfus: “No. Marles thought there might be a problem and I asked ASIO to check it out. The G-G has had a gambling problem for years. Quite a few people knew, but we didn’t know how serious it was. She owes millions to some crypto mob based in China as far as we can tell.”

Albanese: “Is this a security risk?”

A knock is heard at the door and Marles walks in with a slight smile on his face: “You now know?”

Albanese: “About the G-G’s gambling?”

Dreyfus to Albanese: “You should talk to her. Maybe she should resign.”

Albanese: “Can you arrange a discreet meeting for tomorrow? And give me a one-page briefing which I can have for the meeting. And we need to find a public excuse for her resignation – and one that does not reflect badly on us!”

Dreyfus stands-up, nods and leaves.

Marles watches Dreyfus leave and then says: “He is so obedient. Thinks you are God! He listens to what you begin to say and finishes the sentence.”

Albanese laughs.

Marles: “So we can now appoint a new G-G. Defence Chief-of-Staff would be a good choice!”

Albanese looks at Marles for a moment before saying: “Did you have some role in this? Is it a set-up?”

Marles: “Mostyn has had a gambling problem for a long-time. We have just taken advantage of it – by making it more of a problem for her.”

Albanese: “Who else knows?”

Marles: “Besides us, only head of ASIO and a couple of his flunkies.”

Albanese: “Let’s keep it that way!”

Scene 10: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese in new address to nation: “As a result of our discussions in national cabinet it has become clear that we need to prepare for a much longer period of uncertainty as foreign actors – and China in particular – attempt to sow discord in our society. The recent demonstrations against decisions of national cabinet are mostly the result of such foreign influences and there is a clear need for uniformity and firmness against the likely escalation in violence. There is thus a clear need to consolidate government decision making structures. I am thus proposing that all states agree to refer, as provided in Section 51 of the Australian constitution, a number of law and order functions to the Commonwealth which would exercise these powers as part of the national cabinet process. The first step is to bring unity of procedures for the appointment of senior police personnel.”

Scene 11: National Cabinet Meeting.

Albanese: “Calm down. Let’s try to continue working in the national interest.”

Minns: “Your speech did not reflect our discussions and there was no agreement as you suggested. NSW will not be referring such powers to the Commonwealth or to this national cabinet.”

Cook: “And, the same goes for WA.”

Allan: “The wording was clumsy but I think the basic idea is correct.”

Minns: “Wording? It was clear what Albanese wants. It is a naked grab for power!”

Malinauskas: “The polls show that there is a majority in favour.”

Cook: “It is small, and probably reflects the belief – the inaccurate belief – that this was discussed and agreed in national cabinet.”

Albanese: “There are national security considerations which I need to share with you.”

Cook: “Such as?”

Albanese: “The G-G resigned because she was asked to. She was being blackmailed over accessing paedophile internet sites. ASIO believes that she was part of a ring which also includes several senior police officials. I cannot say much more now, certainly not give details, because ASIO is still trying to determine the extent of this ring and the particular individuals involved.”

Scene 12: Prime Minister’s Office

Davis: “Why was I not told about the G-G and this paedophile ring?”

Albanese: “You were to be told, but things have moved so quickly.”

Davis: “What!”

Albanese: “Dreyfus was preparing a brief on the issue but it must have got delayed.”

Davis: “At least your chief-of-staff could have alerted me that there was this issue. I thought the G-G resignation was related to gambling.”

Albanese: “How do you know that?”

Davis looks at Gartrell.

Albanese now looks at Gartrell and asks: “How did you know.”

Gartrell: “Dreyfus was having some problems contacting you and called me.”

Davis, obviously frustrated and stands up to leave: “I am already late for another of these damn meetings.”

After Davis leaves, Albanese looks at a clearly uncomfortable Gartrell: “Just keep in mind the future safe seat!”

Scene 13: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese to Dreyfus: “There was no need for Gartrell to know about the G-G’s gambling.”

Dreyfus: “He is your chief-of-staff and I could not get you because you were with Davis. Anyway, that’s not the main issue? You have now told national cabinet it was about paedophilia! Why?”

Albanese: “I needed to get them on-side. It was a small price to pay.”

Dreyfus: “This will spread like wild-fire. Half the country will soon know about it.”

Albanese: “Look! I am doing this for the country, for Australia’s national security!”

Scene 14: Prime Minister’s Office

Albanese is with Davis when there is a knock on the door and Gartrell hurries in: “The former G-G has killed herself”

Albanese after pausing for a moment: “I guess this is not a surprise. I need to put out a press-release saying the usual nice things.”

Gartrell’s voice now shows some anger: “Should it mention gambling or paedophilia?”

Albanese: “Let’s just leave it at gambling.”

Albanese: “She resigned because she owed millions to a Chinese gambling syndicate and was being blackmailed.”

Davis: “This is not going to end well – for anyone!

Scene 15: Restaurant

Gartrell is in a restaurant with an unidentified male friend. He is clearly upset, and quickly downs several drinks.

Friend: “Wow! This is unbelievable!”

Scene 16: Public Service Office

Kennedy: “State bureaucrats are beginning to fight back. I know some of them very well and they are calling me.”

Davis: “You’re not alone.”

Scene 17: Prime Minister’s Office

Marles: “Gartrell was talking too much.”

Albanese: “But, did you have to kill him?”

Marles: “It was a drug overdose.”

Albanese, shaking his head: “He never took drugs. He was almost a son to me.”

Marles: “Remember that we are doing all this for Australia’s national security.”

Albanese: “Who organizes these things for you?”

Marles just smiles.

Scene 18: Prime Minister’s Office

Dreyfus: “The state premiers are in revolt. The media is not saying much because of national security concerns, but the rumours are that the paedophile story was a lie and led to the death of an innocent woman. But the dam will eventually burst.”

Albanese says little and seems depressed: “This has got out of control.”

There is a knock on the door and Marles and Wong enter.

Wong to Albanese: “I have been very loyal to you because you once had my back when I really needed it. But, you now need to pull back! We risk a huge recession and massive civil unrest.”

Marles to Albanese: “It might be best for the country if you resign. I am ready to go to the G-G and say I can form a government.”

Wong: “No! There will then be pressure for an election. And, why you? There are other people who might want to be leader.”

Marles: “No. Johnston understands the situation. He knows that I am the best hope. There will be no election until the national security situation improves.”

Wong: “And when will that be?”

Marles: “Not soon!”

Albanese says nothing.

Marles hands Albanese a phone, saying: “Call the G-G.”

Scene 19: Prime Minister’s Office

Official: “The president is now ready to talk to you.”

Marles: “Hello. Yes, yes. Thankyou.”